It happened again

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They said our life is in our own hands
They said our destiny is defined by our present actions
They said they will be there for me and together “we” will move on
They said with positivity every bad thing will be gone

I know what they said is true
That’s why I believed in them without any other clue
I wanted to comfort "me"
I wanted to paint my fears and be happy

Then why did that happen again?
Out of nowhere, it came back with all the pain
What is it you ask? My biggest fear
I really thought that it would never reappear

But when that happened where were the “we”
I screamed all of the air of my body but nobody rescued me
Was it because I did not act right to make "me" happy
What actions did I do to have such a bad destiny?

It happened in just a few seconds
But felt like years in miserable motions
My body seemed to not have meaning
I couldn’t move but my heart was racing

My fear was not born because I couldn’t move
But instead, because of what I saw, I feared not to be able to move
It was looking at me and it knew that I was doing the same
It moved and called me by my name

Its eyes were even more fearful than the ones in movies
They were no other than red full of superhumanities
Its body was nonetheless than a darker whole in the room
It moved again so there were no excuses such as it was a broom

I was there, sweating, screaming, crying
While everybody else was still sleeping
When it said my name again I regain my ability to move and ran
I went to hide in my closet but there was nothing

They call this sleep paralysis
But I call it fear paralysis
Who knows when it will know to move faster to touch me
Who knows what it will do to me

I took my life into my own hands
I hoped for a better destiny by controlling my actions
I trusted the people that said they would be there for me and moved on
I was positive but now I’m back to square one

I was shaking, stressed, and scared
Nobody can help even if the "we" cared
Why me?
Why me?

Changes don't come with only hope and positivity
That is why I'm at its mercy
When I concluded that only a shred of tears will fill me every night
I then release that for a change I must fight

This time I. WILL. FIGHT. IT
I do not know how but I. WILL. KILL. IT
It took too much life in me so I have to defeat it
No matter how ugly things get and how it ends, one thing for sure, I will no longer fear it.

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